Fact: They won’t even let you buy a purse that ugly unless you prove, beyond all doubt, that you are at least 115-years-old. A fake ID won’t work, either. They put you through tests: They pay people to walk in front of your house, and if you don’t shout “GET OFF MY LAWN!,” they know you’re a fraud. Also, if your DVR doesn’t include even one CBS program, don’t expect to get your hands on one. This handbag may be more exclusive than an Hermès.