Useless? Useless! Useless is you using me to carry home munchies after you went “out with the guys.” Useless is the way you handle moving; you just grab my hand holds while I do all the work.
But fine, if I’m just so unimportant to you, then maybe I’ll go find someone else who can appreciate me for who I am. Someone who will carry me RIGHT SIDE UP. God, you make me sick.