Okay, so the toilet paper is a good start, but I’m still going to eat your children unless you provide me with all of the following items:
1.) A high-quality electric toothbrush. Because I like to brush right after I nom my human victims. 2.) Bubblegum-flavored floss. Because see addendum #1. 3.) Ultra-Strength Deodorant. Because your closet smells like the inside of Sasquatch’s den. I should know. I play poker at Skwatch’s place every Thursday.