Stoic Pie is Resigned to Its Fate

objects with faces-Stoic Pie is Resigned to Its Fate

Yeah, I see where this is going. You’re going to pop me in the oven for an hour or so, and once my dough has risen and my innards have been baked to perfection, you’re going to hack away at my pristine form with forks and knives, and stuff me in your gullets until I’m reduced to crumbs.

Fortunately, I spent the better part of my formative years absorbing the entire body of work of Marcus Aurelius, and I am convinced that my stoic perspective on existence will carry me through to a peaceful death. So go ahead! Do your worst! Your highs and lows in life mean nothing to me!

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3 Responses to Stoic Pie is Resigned to Its Fate

  1. Jessie says:

    Two thumbs down? Really? This is one of the better ones that I’ve seen in a long time.

  2. Daive says:

    poker face

  3. Lassie says:

    Yeah. I know. My hours are numbered. It’s Thanksgiving, I can smell the turkey, and it’s almost done. And then…it’ll be my turn. Go ahead, put me in that oven this afternoon, I can’t stop you. But I’ll have my revenge, oh yes, I will. I’ll bubble over and spill my filling all over the bottom of your oven, and it’ll burn and fill up your kitchen with stench and smoke. Ha! Ha-ha! And to make things even better, I am one of those cheap gluey no-name blueberry pies that grandma bought for $2.99 because she’s under the impression she needs “dessert” for a gaggle of grandkids. When it’s just you, grandma, your anorexic daughter, and your retarded diabetic brother. I’m going to end up in the trash, and all your efforts will have been for naught. Ha! Ha-ha!

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