Sad Drawer Wishes You Wouldn’t Slam Him Shut So Hard

objects with faces-Sad Drawer Wishes You Wouldn't Slam Him Shut So Hard

I know you’re often really upset when you wake up 20 minutes late for work in the morning… and I’m sure it doesn’t help that you tend to do that at least three times a week… but when you retrieve your underwear from inside me, could you PLEASE try and be just a tiny bit gentler when you shut me afterward? I have feelings too, you know…

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One Response to Sad Drawer Wishes You Wouldn’t Slam Him Shut So Hard

  1. Lassie says:

    I started out in life 50 years ago, purchased on a Sears payment plan, living in the bedroom of a darling pair of newlyweds. I held argyle socks, filmy nylon peignors, stockings with seams, and garter belts, and crisp new white Arrow shirts. I was beautiful then, and useful. And then I gathered dust in the thrift store, marked with cigarette burns, dented and scratched, unloved. And now I have a second chance in my new home, in this cold, ratty shambles of an apartment. I’m filled up with dingy tighty-whities, Walmart socks with holes in the toes, polyester ties still in the boxes from Grandma from Christmas, a pair of gold plated cufflinks, two broken watches – and boxes of condoms, so much other sordid stuff I can’t tell you – those magazines you put in my bottom drawer make me shudder ! … Look, I’m grateful to just BE here. I will bear the weight of that awful lava lamp, the beer bottles and coffee mugs and Ho-Ho wrappers, a chipped glass jar full of change, and a half eaten slice of pizza. But you can understand, can’t you, my feelings? I started out in life in the home of Don and Betty Draper. Now I’m doing time in the temporary digs of a careless single bachelor. And I’ve come down in the world, my friends, I’ve come down in the world. Do with me what you will, I don’t have to LIKE it!

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