I’m a navigator, sure, but I’m also a budding hip-hop MC! Wanna hear some of my jamz?
“Yo! Other vehicles on the road, move ova / cuz my skillz shinin’ like my grillz and dey rival HOVA’s / and my lady’s wearin’ frills like a prima donna / and I’m cranking up the beat like a racing Honda…”
Okay, so yeah, that last couplet could use some work… but you get the idea, right?
Ohai! It’s SO NICE to meet you! I can assure you that my facilities are the finest offered by any gas station bathroom in the continental U.S. I clarify this because there are some truly phenomenal gas station bathrooms in Hawaii and Alaska…
Anyway, please, make yourself at home within my quarters. There are newspapers on the wall, and “adult reading material” under the sink. I hope you enjoy your stay! Remember to leave a tip!
OH MY GOD WHY DID THEY HOOK US TO EACH OTHER BY THE MOUTH WHAT IS THIS HUMAN CENTIPEDE I DON’T EVEN WHY DOES IT HURT SOOOOOOOOO BAD!!?!
Honorable Chairs,
Starting tomorrow, Happy Chair is Happy will no longer exist as a standalone site, but will continue on as a weekly feature on Icanhascheezburger.com.
We know you all love your anthropomorphic objects, and that’s why we’re going to continue featuring them alongside the best lol-animals on the interwebz!
So until we meet again, this is Happy Chair HQ saying: Stay happy, stay chair, and stay happy again! Take care!
-Cheez Jr., Commander and Chair
I HATE the way technology is advancing nowadays! I mean sure, I’m a hot-button item right now, but I just KNOW that in three months I will be totally obsolete. Everyone always needs the “next best thing,” and we cell phone cases are always just victims in that constant technological revolution… 😦
OH MAN. I am so excited to see the look on your face when you take your Google Chrome OS Netbook out of the box for the first time. This product is going to change your life!
… or at least, I hope it does. Because we definitely aren’t at the point where we’re offering a money-back guarantee… so if you hate it, you’re kind of stuck. Just fair warning… enjoy your new netbook!
You know, I feel like so many other leaves would be so bothered to be in my position right now. Like, they’re just totally afraid of solitude… but I’ve never really been bothered by being alone. It’s always something I’ve kind of reveled in, actually. Having time to yourself to decompress and think… it’s really a very therapeutic experience sometimes!
Whenever I am put into a position like this, I try to remind myself to stay positive by humming that Wilco song, “How to Fight Loneliness.” And with the sweet sounds of alt-country dancing around in my head, solitude becomes something totally beautiful, amirite?
Which is good, because his buddy Han Solo Griddle is currently frozen in carbonite, so I can’t imagine he feels similarly right now.
It was on sale, and I think it looks great! I mean, it does look okay on me, right? You can totally be honest… I mean, if this hat actually makes my head look stupid and fat, I really do want you to tell me! But I mean, it totally doesn’t look bad on me at all… does it?
I know you’re often really upset when you wake up 20 minutes late for work in the morning… and I’m sure it doesn’t help that you tend to do that at least three times a week… but when you retrieve your underwear from inside me, could you PLEASE try and be just a tiny bit gentler when you shut me afterward? I have feelings too, you know…
Happy Chair Is Happy - Faces In Inanimate Objects 